The Last Post

To all of the followers of Ron’s blog, I want to acknowledge how much your support and encouragement has meant to both Ron and I in the 7 plus years of his battle and Journey with lung cancer. After Ron’s Journey ended, that same support and encouragement was extended to myself and my family.  I hope that each and every one of you realize how very important that this support has been to all of us!

We have as a family a past and have weathered some very emotional times, as I am sure every family has or will at a time when the death of a loved one causes such upheaval and leaves such a wide void within our hearts and our lives.

Our family has had it’s share of good and bad times and unfortunately these times are sometimes popping up their ugly heads because of the emotional chaos that Ron’s leaving us has created and these feelings and emotions should in my mind be kept private. Ron was very open and candid about his cancer but we all knew that he was not one to resort to name calling, or recriminations, he was as we all agree a gentle giant, sometimes irreverent but easy going and basically an optimistic Good Guy.

Out of respect for our healing process as we travel through these tough emotions, our grieving process, and hopefully our recovery  while continuing and maintaining the true meaning of  what I feel was Ron’s reason for his blog, I no longer want to support or encourage an atmosphere where a lot of negativity may continue to fester until we all can find some balance again in our lives and learn to go on without him.

So, as I thank you all, I am going to stop all posting to this blog and leave it with as much integrity as it still retains so that no further mixed feelings in a very dark time of our lives are released on the internet, never able to be retracted when the light hopefully starts to shine through again.

I hope that this blog will remain intact so that people looking for a positive message in the uneven fight of lung cancer might find solace and hope. Ron always considered himself to be one of the lucky ones and I was lucky to be the one he chose to share his life journey with. I will always miss him with every breath that I take.

From what I gather, another blog may continue on in Ron’s name and I wish it to be as successful and fulfilling as this was for Ron and for me because of the importance it was to Ron,  but,  Ron’s journey has ended and is over and now so also is this/His blog.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sandy

Another Thank you to Acknowledge

Today in the mail I received the following and it is much appreciated at a time of year when there is not much money to throw around including myself and Dad had he  still been here. We are all members of what we called the working poor so I wanted to acknowledge your contribution to helping other people in Dad’s name!

Carolyn thank you for your donation to Hospice Wellington, I do not need to know the amount, the thought is what counts and your couple of donations or more towards the 50 Shades of Yellow Relay for Life, and the fact that you are taking on the responsibility for the long trip over here to see your Father however short it may have been.

Dad would be proud as am I and perhaps you need to hear that a bit more. If you should wish to comment on this post and are unable to then please let me know and I will find out why and get it fixed, in keeping with the open-ess other than obvious spam, of the blog that Dad started and is being continued in his name.

I will also add the poem that my Superintendent typed out and added to my Christmas card this year, it is one that says it all and it wrenches my heart to read it.

I received this from Preston, our Superintendent with my Christmas Card this Year 2013

 

I’m Spending Christmas With Jesus This Year

 

I see the countless Christmas trees

Around the world below,

With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars

Reflected in the snow.

 

The sight is so spectacular,

Please wipe away your tear,

For I’m spending this joyful season

With Jesus Christ this year.

 

I hear the many Christmas songs,

That people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can’t compare

With the Christmas choir up here.

 

For I have no words to tell you

The joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description

To hear the angels sing.

 

I know how much you miss me,

The pain inside your heart,

But I’m not so far away,

We’re really not apart.

 

I can’t tell you of the splendor,

Or the peace here in this place,

Can you imagine Christmas

With our Savior, face to face!

 

I’ll ask him to lighten your spirit

As I tell him of your love,

So, then pray for one another

And lift your eyes above.

 

Now let your hearts be joyful

And let your spirit sing,

For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven

And I’m walking with the King.

 

Be happy for me, dear ones, and wipe away that tear

Be glad I’m spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.

Kitty and I thank you!

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Doreen,

Thank you so much for the card, it gave me a chuckle although I hope that this is one kitty that doesn’t ever get to be that size.  I really enjoyed seeing everyone and how welcomed that everyone made me feel, it is a daily reminder of why Ron always thought so highly of Homewood and of the group from IS  in particular.

It is a joy to be able to get out and talk to people about how good of a guy he was and how many good memories we all share of him and to laugh as well instead of always feeling like crying. What I would give to still see his name on the door to the tomb.

Lesson learned, you still never know how lucky you really were until you have lost something special, and hind sight sure as heck sucks.

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Lori, Rose, Nancy, Andrew, Amanda, just to name a few others, good to see all of you as well and hope to see you all more often, it is difficult not to feel closer to Ron when I am up the hill! Dr. V, you never failed to ask about Ron, when you would see him up at the Homewood and later you would follow through me, and Dr. K, in your kind and gentle way, it was so soothing to share some thoughts with you as well, I have always loved your smile! Thinking of you all!

Sandy

Rest in Peace Pat!

Patricia Hamer

1940-2013

Hamer, Patricia Alice (nee Hatch) … Passed away peacefully at the Cambridge Memorial Hospital, on Thursday December 12, 2013 at the age of 73. Patricia will be forever remembered by her family and friends. A memorial service will be conducted in the chapel of Corbett Funeral Home, 95 Dundas Street, Cambridge, on Thursday December 19, 2013 at 11a.m.
A good friend of ours, Pat Hamer, small but mighty! It is very sad to hear that you have left us. You also fought long and hard in your journey and you were a tireless worker at the Legion  Branch 126!

You will be missed Pat and if you should run across Ron please say hi and give him a big hug from all of us left behind!Pat Hamer PlaysRon and Pat HamerDart Group 2009APat H SandyRon Threatening Wendy

This will be an even sadder Christmas, and I am sending Pat’s Family John and the kids and grand kids my sincerest sympathy!

Hello again …

As Christmas draws close, I find myself thinking about you a lot. I can’t remember a Christmas without you … you always had the place laughing, you had the dogs doing tricks, you slipped us poker chips under the table – you always made it special.

 

The Only Gift I want for Christmas.

The Only Gift I want for Christmas.

 

We knew that there wasn’t anything you wanted, nothing we could do that you couldn’t do yourself, except cook you a big dinner, and give you a day with the dogs, some candies and some cartoons.

 

The one thing I knew dad liked, was to feed the dogs, and be silly with them. Reiku took any chance he could to take advantage of him.

The one thing I knew dad liked, was to feed the dogs, and be silly with them. Reiku took any chance he could to take advantage of him.

 

Sit and Speak for Dad!

Sit and Speak for Dad!

 

You were full of hugs, and we miss them dearly.

 

Never a shortage on hugs ...

Never a shortage on hugs …

 

You’re smile lit up the room …

 

A gag gift for all

A gag gift for all

 

I miss these looks

I miss these looks

 

Always the tongue ... no photo could be serious!

Always the tongue … no photo could be serious!

 

OK, perhaps just ONE

OK, perhaps just ONE

A few more photos I have out this year, and many of you hugging us at Christmas when we were younger. I just wanted to post a few for you, and to tell you we missed you!

xoxoxox

 

Some Christmas calls ...

Some Christmas calls …

 

A new camera at Christmas

A new camera at Christmas

 

Caught you!

Caught you!

 

Wish you could hug a picture ...

Wish you could hug a picture …

 

Miss you Grandpa.

Miss you Grandpa.

 

Miss you Dad ...

Miss you Dad …

 

Hugs and hugs, and many many more.

xoxoxoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three months and one day.

I can’t wrap my head around the time that has gone by, and that I can say you’ve been gone for three months.

I look at your picture, and every so often I can do it without feeling sad. It seems to be a foggy mix of denial and acceptance. I know in my head that you’re not here, and I know you’re in my heart; however it feels like I don’t know where you are, like if I drove up to your place, you’re still there – just out. Sounds weird I know, but that is me.

Christmas is right around the corner. Like my post the other day, we wanted to make it a special night, so that we could include you in Christmas, at least in our hearts. It is strange walking by your chocolate cherries, the licorice, rumballs and such, and every time I do, I pick it up and show Shelby and we have a smile, or at least as much of one that I can feign. It’s going to be sad, we all know that, but it would have been sad not seeing you participate, drink your coffee, and eat your favorite things. I would have gladly moved Christmas to you if you were still here, including the cat and dog :(

A good friend of mine finished her chemo the other day, and she is trying to wait out the effects. I have so many people talking to me about both the good and the bad of what they are going through, and what we are going through now. She is much like you. She is such an optimist, a soft kind soul who takes it as it comes and just rolls with it – I told you about her. It hit her so hard, and so fast … the change was shocking. I saw it in her eyes and her smile – like you. I hope she can keep it at bay, and that this chemo gives her relief.

I started some prizes for your relay. I don’t have much of a break from design, but am offering a bunch of items for a $5 donation. Seems to be helping raise funds, and they all comment on your photo when they see you on your page. They all say you look so kind and I always tell them about you. It’s really hard to keep going to the page, but I know that while it won’t bring you back, it’s just something I can do instead of wanting to put my fist through a wall. I can’t sit and do nothing, or I sit and all I do is cry. I miss you so much it aches, it’s hard to breathe, and I cease to function until I can snap out of it. Then I snap out of it and I feel horrible because it feels like I’m forgetting about you. I know I don’t get out very much, not many places to go, and when I sit and think while I am out hiking and shooting, I think too much, so designing for free for the donations is keeping my mind off of things (but also making for some horribly long nights).

My nightmares about you are starting to slow down. I was staying up for days on end because I didn’t want to go to sleep. The other night when I fell asleep at my desk, I had a dream about us all. I can’t remember what it was about after about ten minutes, but I know it was a good one because my pillow was dry. I hope I have more nights like that, and I hope sometime soon, you come talk to me in one of my dreams and I can remember it …

Love you
xoxoxox

Hi Dad.

Shelby, Devin and I started decorating for Christmas – we thought of you while we were. This will be our first Christmas in 11 years without Koji, and our first Christmas that I can remember without you.

I know you liked how we always did the tree, but not as much as Turkey Dinner.

I know you liked how we always did the tree, but not as much as Turkey Dinner.

We wanted you to be first and foremost on the tree, so we saw you every time we walk by …

This is an angel mom put your picture I did in.

This is an angel mom put your picture I did in.

Not sure how this season will go without you. Will miss getting you your cherries, rum-balls and licorice, and of course the drumsticks and apple pie.

The dogs could always make you laugh, and seeing you taunt them with your gag gift, or feeding them treats made you happy ...

The dogs could always make you laugh, and seeing you taunt them with your gag gift, or feeding them treats made you happy …

You had a soft spot for kitty, and we would have dressed him up as usual to make you laugh.

You had a soft spot for kitty, and we would have dressed him up as usual to make you laugh.

Shelby bought herself a new guitar and amp, I wish you could hear her practice. She’s growing up each and every day, and we laugh about you often. Things you would have done or said … that sort of thing.

You’ll be happy to know that we’re almost at $2,000 in donations to my part in your relay, and it’s 10% of the entire team’s goal with over 200 days left. They are working strong to sell so much in the auctions and such and their portion of the donations climbs daily. I know it doesn’t give us any part of you back, but it’s for you. For others going through what you did, for the people you helped while you yourself were struggling.

I hope you know we’re still thinking of you. We’re going to try and make it through the holidays remembering the good times and not so much the sad times. I will make sure we remember you …

xoxoxo
Wendy